It’s been a while since I last posted. There are reasons for that though.
Life has been hard these last few weeks, I’ve kind of kept it on the low down because nobody needs my problems to add on to their own. My mental state has been dismal and I’ve just wanted to be on my own, not speak to anybody and focus on nursing myself back to health, which is tough when you’re wanting to maintain friendships and relationships with people because they won’t understand that you just don’t want to talk, or that you just want to be on your own.
I am one of those dreadful people who never reply to messages. I may read it but not reply or I won’t read it at all. I might reply in a few hours even days if you’re lucky. It’s not because I’m “rude” or “ignorant” it’s simply because I don’t have the energy to engage in any kind of conversation with anybody. It’s my way of dealing with things and I don’t usually explain that because 1. It’s not understood and 2. Judgement is rife.
It’s nothing to do with sad syndrome either. This time of year is my favorite. I love the cold dull weather and darker mornings and evenings. I love the fact I’m not swimming in my own sweat every five minutes. I’m generally mentally unwell at the moment and I am writing this as a message to everyone who may be “mardy” with me for not wanting to spend time with them or speaking to them or the people that think it’s ok to offer their opinions when it’s not asked for.
I’ve been working on things that make me happy during this dark period and it’s working.
I’ve accepted the fact I don’t want to drive and nobody will make me feel like that is the wrong decision. I will do it when I’m ready and honestly, the magic of learning to drive was well and truly taken out of me anyway. I was only ever doing it to make other people happy which is WRONG on all levels.
I’m soul searching every day for what it is that I actually want to do with my life; college is going by far too fast and before I know it, I’ll be out of education for good. I think I have finally come to decision. Obviously, I want to teach – I am now a registered tutor online (for online tutoring or face to face!). However, a “real job” in teaching would be fab. Photography related obviously but I currently have some ideas that need exploring for what’s going to happen when college finishes next year.
I have published a book on the Amazon market so I am now a published author. Writing is almost on par with how much I enjoy photography.
See my week in pictures here:
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